Rule #2: .A superhero must be a surgeon at all times ready to perform a coronary, for the heart of evil pumps the blood of WUB.

Rule #3: .Never surrender, ever--even if you're dead....Okay, maybe if you're dead, but not if you're a dead superhero . . . well, if you're already supposed to be a dead superhero anyway.

Rule #4: .Your adversary is the key to the door of evil--beware!

Rule #5: .Never be a sidekick to someone bad.

Rule #6: .Never be a sidekick to someone evil.

Rule #7: .There is a difference between bad and evil.

Rule #8: .Never be a sidekick to someone dead or smelling heavily of Cheese Whiz.

Rule #9: .Never underestimate your opponent.

Rule #10: .Never overestimate your ally.

Rule #11: .Frequent check-ups on your arch-nemesis is a good thing.

Rule #12: .Never speak your every action unless you're fruity.

Rule #13: .Superheroes shouldn't think bad--ever. Unless maybe you're using reverse psychology on someone bad. But that usually doesn't work, so never mind.

Rule #14:. Decent people shouldn't live here. They'd be happier someplace else.

Rule #15: .Superheroes don't generally wear underwear unless it's outside their pants.

Rule #16:..Superheroes should never fight amongst themselves unless some evil super-genius messes with their minds and makes them bad or something like that.

Rule #17: .You should look cool.

Rule #18: .(Indefinite)

Rule #19:. Date people you rescue only as a last resort.

Rule #20: .The city loves a boyfriend. Smile.

Rule #21: .You should take extra caution to villains with "doctor" or "professor" in their names.

Rule #22:. Eating vegemite sandwiches makes you not make sense.

Rule #23: .Having a cartoon, movie, or action figure made of you are the three highest honors a superhero can receive. Take advantage!

Rule #24: .Be improvisational as often as possible and say it even more.

Rule #25: .Superheroes should never take lightbulbs from other superheroes.

Rule #26: .Taco Bell contests may cause temporary sanity loss--beware!

Rule #27: .Flammable liquid is not plural.

Rule #28: .When a person starts talking about eating kittens, you know he's bad.

Rule #29: .Evil isn't funny, but sometimes it says some darn funny stuff.

Rule #30: .Supervillains, evil-doers, and bad people almost always set aside a soliloquy time when they reveal their plot and laugh maniacally. Use that time to your advantage.

Rule #31: .Doing good things is good unless you do them bad. Because if you do good things bad, it isn't good. But doing bad things good is even worse. And if you do something bad and say it's bad, that's bad. But if you do something bad and say it's good, that's even worse yet. You can't do bad things or even good things bad because bad isn't good and good isn't bad; good is good and bad isn't.

Rule #32: .It doesn't matter what it is as long as you spell it right.

Rule #33: .If you're in a big open area, scream really loud.

Rule #34: .If your sidekick is killed or kidnapped, scream his/her/its name really really loud.

Rule #35: .Be cocked, vibrate, and--unless you're Superman--get out of the telephone booth.

Rule #36: .Dead superheroes should wear deodorant.

Rule #37:  No matter how wrong you are, you should never have to admit it.

Rule #38:  You should never steal your loved one's relish.

Rule #39:  Maury Povich is plural.

Rule #40:  Superheroes shouldn't stalk people because that's wrong and superheroes shouldn't do things wrong...well you shouldn't do wrong things anyway. But you shouldn't do things wrong either. The only people who should do wrong things are bad people...well, they shouldn't, but they're the only ones who can do wrong things right...as right as wrong things can be, that is. That doesn't make them right though. Wrong things will always be wrong and right things always won't.

Rule #41:  It doesn't matter if you go out of your way as long as it keeps you from looking stupid.

Rule #42:  Never shoot nuns--especially with a shotgun--even if the nuns are floating upside-down and sparkling.

Rule #43:  Superheroes shouldn't take pride in rescuing people. Remember, it's your duty to uphold good, defend the innocent, and make wood pulp out of villains and scoundrels. Accept your accomplishment and move on. There are always other clumsy, innocent fools to save.

Rule #44:  If ever confronted with a global crisis, don't hesitate to involve those otherwise basically useless superheroes from other countries (with the strict exception, of course, of the Justice Federation of Western Central Europe). Despite the fact that no villain of any significance ever attacks anyplace outside of the North-Western hemisphere, there are "Import Heroes" who amazingly can handle certain situations. (Although statistics indicate that in roughly 94% of all global crises it is the inexperienced no-name "Import Heroes" who are the first to be killed off.)

Rule #45:  Regardless of whether they claim to be wearing a badge, poorly dressed drunken men with bad personal hygeine pushing old women around in wheelbarrows are NOT police officers.